Yearly Archives: 2009

Question From A Writer


I know I’d said the whole Ted Dekker subject was closed, but wanted to mention literary agent Chip Macgregor’s interesting blog post about the incident. I believe Chip eloquently expressed the views of most of the Love Inspired authors. Also, I forgot to mention in my earlier post, about Love Inspired’s list that Ted was talking about…I’d forgotten all about that list until Ted mentioned it. Most inspirational romances have to follow strict rules, and when I’m writing a Christian romance, I barely pay attention to a list. I just kind of know what needs to be done, and if the manuscript needs some changes, the editor will tell me and I’ll change it. So far, it hasn’t been a big deal. Okay, so this subject is now closed…for real this time!

Now, onto a writing question!

Philip wrote to ask the following:

I’m a twice published author, both are inspirational fiction. I enjoyed reading your blog and you seem to be very open and willing to assist others in the writing business. I’m working hard at getting into a larger publisher as mine is only a print on demand and seems to be more like a self-publishing company.
I’m currently working on a supernatural thriller. I would enjoy hearing from you as to if you ever refer other authors to your publishers or agent. I look forward to hearing from you.

Philip, I wish I could help you with a referral, but I can’t! I write Christian romance novels, and the publishers that I deal with don’t publish supernatural thrillers. It’s difficult for me to give you advice without knowing what steps you’ve taken to find a publisher. Since you say you are working hard at finding a publisher, then I’m assuming you’ve been submitting your work to commercial publishers? Read this post, and in addition to that advice, I wanted to mention the importance of researching a publisher before submitting to them. You need to know the market – which publishers currently publish works that are similiar to yours? Go to a bookstore or go to Amazon and see if you can find titles similiar to yours. Once you’ve targeted some publishers, then you can go to their website and find their submission guidelines. Chances are, nowadays, you’ll need an agent to submit to them.

I can’t refer you to an agent because I don’t have one. As I mentioned in this post, I’m searching for an agent now. I’ve sold five Christian romances, and all of them I was able to sell without an agent. I suggest, after you do your homework in researching publishers, that you attend a writers conference. You might want to make sure your targeted publishing house will be attending the writers’ conference that you choose. Meet with an editor from your targeted publishing house at the conference. Usually, most writers’ conferences have a limited amount of one-on-one appointments. I landed my first two book deals as a result of attending writers’ conferences.

Philip left me a link for his website! Stop by and check out his novels! I think the covers are very tastefully done…very striking!

I hope my suggestions helped! If you have any more questions, feel free to send them to me!

~Cecelia Dowdy~

Done!!

I’m finally finished with the project that I mentioned here.

I’ve been working on this thing sporadically for about five years…BUT, the only reasons it’s taken me so long is because:

1. I had a baby (who’s now four years old).
2. I’ve been selling other novels to Barbour Publishing, and contracted work takes priority over my recently-completed project entitled Southern Comfort.
3. I’ve also written another novel, since I’ve started this one, that was rejected. However, writing that other novel took time away from my working on Southern Comfort.
4. I work full-time, and I run a household! Takes lots of time to do that!
So, there you have it! That’s why it’s taken me years to complete this big tome of a book! I plan on submitting the full to an agent who requested it awhile back. I’ve also got two other agents that I’m going to submit to, also. I normally don’t take this long to write a book…I can usually have one done in a matter of months if I set my mind to it and concentrate. When you have a contract, you’re forced to finish by a certain time!

Just feels good to be done! Now hopefully, and prayerfully, my Southern Comfort will find a home!

~Cecelia Dowdy~

Ted Dekker And Love Inspired

Ted Dekker ticked me off a bit. I know Love Inspired’s guidelines may seem as if they’re unrealistic, but, they’re writing for their readership, plus, people pick up a Love Inspired novel expecting a certain standard. This post makes me angry because I don’t think Ted’s ever read a Love Inspired! He’s putting down the whole line, and that simply stinks! Read a Love Inspired, Ted, and do some investigating and look at the Love Inspired sales figures!

~Cecelia Dowdy~

Stephen – Stoned!

Acts 6:15 (NIV)
All who were sitting in the Sanhedrin looked intently at Stephen, and they saw that his face was like the face of an angel.

Acts 7:51-59 (NIV)
51″You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are just like your fathers: You always resist the Holy Spirit! 52Was there ever a prophet your fathers did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you have betrayed and murdered him— 53you who have received the law that was put into effect through angels but have not obeyed it.”
54When they heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. 55But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. 56″Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”
57At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, 58dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul.
59While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” 60Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.

Man, what powerful words! Can you imagine being stoned to death, then telling the Lord to forgive those persecuting you? Makes you stop and think of those suffering for the sake of the Lord. Imagine the pain of being stoned to death…brutal…makes me think, you know, as a Christian, I haven’t been through anything remotely related to this. Such suffering and intense physical pain. When you think your life is getting tough, think of how Stephen suffered…think of how Jesus suffered…

~Cecelia Dowdy~

My Website!


I re-did my website a couple of months ago, but I don’t think I announced it here on my blog. Check it out! I changed the coloring from that dark burgundy to a light tannish color. I also added a floral arrangement at the top and I added a few other pages. Take a look around and tell me what you think!

Here’s the link!

~Cecelia Dowdy~

Questions From Writers

Kelli wrote to ask me this question:
Could you please advise what a writer is do when all
avenues have been exhausted in trying to get their book
published and self-publishing/co-publishing is not even
an option. I am feeling a little like I should just stop trying and stop
writing, this is my second book.

My response:
Don’t quit! I was writing for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS before I got a contract with a traditional/commercial publisher. During that five and a half years, I wrote during most of my spare time and completed several books – most of those will remain in my basement closet, they’re so bad! All I can say is put that book back on the shelf and start another novel. Also, are you involved in a writers’ group or a critique group? If you congregate with like-minded individuals, that may help you. Since I write Christian romance novels, the two organizations that have helped me the most is Romance Writers Of America and American Christian Fiction Writers. Both of those organizations may have chapters and critique groups that meet in your area? You’ll need to check and see. Also, two blogs that you might want to visit regularly are Literary Agents Chip Macgregor and Rachelle Gardner. I visit both of these blogs and they are always giving cool advice for both new and seasoned writers. Go to those blogs and scroll through some of the old posts. They’re a wealth of information to use if you’re trying to get your work commercially/traditionally published.

I can’t really advise about self-publishing because I’m not very familiar with it. I know I never wanted to get self-published – I wanted to sign a contract where I’d be getting an advance and royalties for each copy of my novel that sold. I didn’t want to pay to have my work published. I do know that if you self-publish, you need to be sure you have a solid marketing plan so that you can sell lots of books. I know self-publishing USUALLY works better if you’re doing NON-FICTION.

Vanessa wrote:
I’m a writer and I’ve been “shopping” my novel around for a little while. I’ve gotten good responses from editors, but no one is willing to give me a chance so I’m trying to decide how to proceed. I’ve done some partner publishing with Beckham Publishing on two other books with my husband, but my novel is what I really want to get released. Any advice? An editor from a major company really liked my book but when it came before the larger group it was rejected. This person has put me in touch with an editor they use and I’m planning to work with her to do final edits on the book before proceeding.

My response:
Read my advice for the previous question. Also, you might want to send that editor, the one from the major publishing company, a letter, thanking her for considering your work and, you’d like the opportunity to submit another project to her in the future.

I’m not sure how to tell you to proceed from here. If you’ve already shopped it around, and there’s no other place to submit it, then you need to place that book on a shelf and start another? If you’re asking how to proceed as far as self-publishing is concerned, I’m not sure what to tell you to do since I’ve never self-published my work.

You could also search for a literary agent. It’s possible that there are publishers out there that may be interested in your work but they take agented submissions only?

Hope my responses helped!

Got anymore questions? Please send them in!

~Cecelia Dowdy~

Christmas Book Giveaway – Rules

Thanks so much to all who are entering the Christmas Book Giveaway. As of this morning, there are 64 comments. Somebody mentioned that they didn’t see any rules for the giveaway, but they want to be entered. In order to be entered in the giveaway, you need to leave your email address in your comment, or your email address must be accessible through your blogger ID. If you comment, without leaving an email address, and your email address is not visible on blogger, then you WON’T be entered. If there’s no email address for me to access, there would be no way for me to contact you if you do win.

Several have said that it was generous of me to purchase these books and give them away. These books are brand new, and I did purchase them, but, I also want to build up my e-mail list from doing the book giveaways. Therefore, if you enter the drawing, you’re giving me permission to add your email address to my mailing list. I only send out mass emails via Constant Contact a few times a year, so, if you enter, you won’t have to worry about being bombarded with massive amounts of email from me.

I’ve noticed there are some who entered the Christmas Book Giveaway, but have unsubscribed from my Constant Contact email list. If you’ve been on my mailing list, then unsubscribed, then want to enter this giveaway, you won’t be entered. Reason being, you have to be willing to be a part of my mailing list in order to be entered into the drawing. Since I use Constant Contact, if a person unsubscribes, I can’t resubscribe that person myself – Constant Contact won’t allow that. I’m not sure if you can try and re-subscribe on your own on Constant Contact after you’ve unsubscribed?

Final “rule” is if you win, you automatically give me the right to post your first and last name on my blog, along with your city and state of residence, announcing you as the winner. I want to keep this contest honest, so I have to annouce the winner on this blog. In the past, I’ve had a few people to get disgruntled when they see their first and last name on my blog, then they’ll ask me to remove their last name from my blog post. I’ve started stating my intentions of posting the first and last name when I post the contest. If you don’t want your first and last name posted on my blog if you win, then don’t enter the contest!

And, last thing, even if you don’t win, I wanted to tell you about how I came across these great books at a reasonable price! If you don’t win the books featured on my blog, you still might have some spare change in your wallet to purchase these! Christianbook.com has some great sets of books for a cheap price – this is where I purchased the books for my giveaway:

Set of nine Christmas books for $9.99!

Set of four Christmas books for $7.99!

Set of four Christmas books for $7.80!

Set of six Christmas books for $9.99!

Notice that some of these sets overlap, so if you order more than one set, you might want to make sure that you’re aware that you may be purchasing some books twice! No, I don’t work for or represent Christianbook.com! I’m just being a nice gal and letting you know about these great deals! I don’t think I could have afforded such a large Christmas book giveaway if I’d had to pay full price for these novels! I’m not sure how long these books will be available at this low price!

~Cecelia Dowdy~

Christmas Book Giveaway!

***This contest is now over! I’ve selected a winner! The winner is listed here. I’ll be posting another book giveaway around January 1, 2010!! I’ve reviewed some great books, so visit and read about some of the great novels I’ve been enjoying lately!

I know it’s still a little early for Christmas, but I’m having a Christmas book giveaway this month because I want the winner to receive the books at the beginning of December – in time to enjoy for the holidays. You can also give these books away as Christmas gifts. All of the books are brand new, never read! These are Christmas novella collections and, as always, if you enter this drawing, I’ll automatically add you to my mailing list. However, I don’t send out mass e-mails often, so you won’t be bombarded with too much correspondence from me. The contest is limited to U.S. and Canada residents only. If you enter, please leave an email address so that I can contact you if you win. If you do win, I retain the right to place your first and last name and city and state on my blog, announcing you as the winner! I purchased these novels, free copies were not given to me by the publisher. All ten novels will be given to ONE winner! Here are the novels that I’m giving away:

1. Lone Star Christmas by: Pamela Griffin, Cathy Marie Hake, Vickie McDonough, Kathleen Y’Barbo

Anything can happen when four meddlesome, retired Texas Rangers try their hand at matchmaking. As Christmas draws near, clandestine meetings are held to foil Peony Potter’s plans to leave town. Will the folks of Cut Corners learn that no matter what plans they hold, God is the grandest planner of them all.

2. Homespun Christmas by: Birdie L. Etchison, Renee DeMarco, Colleen L. Reece, Janelle Burnham Schneider
A child leads four couples to love in this heartwarming holiday collection. Ben and Sarah struggle to save their town in Hope for the Holidays. Susanna discovers that Christmas is More Than Tinsel. Is this The Last Christmas for Walt and Dee? And Brinn finds love and purpose on a Winter Sabbatical.

3. Snowbound Colorado Christmas by: Susan Page Davis, Lena Nelson Dooley, Darlene Franklin, Tamela Hancock Murray
During the Christmas of 1913, Colorado is buffeted with snow and four young couples seek refuge for their hearts in a whiteout of romance.

4. A Connecticut Christmas by: Diane Ashley, Janet Lee Barton, Rhonda Gibson, Gail Sattler
Snowbound Village, Connecticut, is full of holiday charm, especially at the mall’s Christmas Collectibles Shop where romance is in the air!
Nick Jackson seeks to add to Delia Wilkin’s collection of sa ntas and turn her heart toward Jesus. But will working so closely with Delia become awkward since he has ended their romantic relationship?

Jonathon Griffin shops for something to enhance Cindy Morrow’s new cookie shop and attract her attention. Will Cindy slow down enough to recognize the plans the Lord has for her when she’s presented with a cookie jar full of love.

Sheila Fisher’s storytelling is inspired by Morgan Frost’s collectible critters. When she meets the man to ask permission to write about his creations, will the encounter lead to dreams of love or dreams stolen?

Rochelle McWilliams collects snowflakes, adorning everything with them, much to Kade Guilford’s chagrin. Will Kade allow Rochelle to melt the ice around his stubborn heart?

5. A Bride By Christmas by: Linda Goodnight, Kelly Eileen Hake, Vickie McDonough, Therese Stenzel
Jackson needs a mother for his niece. Jerome needs money that can only come by taking a wife. Katherine needs to fulfill a promise. Anastasia needs to escape an evil plot. Can each find a spouse by Christmas? When there’s a deadline on Christmas, the results are anything but conventional! Don’t miss these four touching historical novellas set on the American prairie.

6. Christmas Duty by: Paige Winship Dooly, Janelle Burnham Schneider, Tammy Shuttlesworth, Jill Stengl
Servicemen and women discover that holidays in the military are difficult—but seldom humdrum! Tragedy convinces Cathy that Tim doesn’t live up to his reputation. Jacob and Lucy can’t seem to overcome their differences. Nick risks everything when his former fiancee is abducted. And Katrina tries to believe in Brian—and the promises of Christmas.

7. Simply Christmas by: Pamela Dowd, Christine Lynxwiler, Wanda Luttrell
Commercialized craziness or consecrated Christmas? Four women must choose! Will Maggie’s break from the mad holiday rush drive her family mad? Lorraine needs peace this season, but others need her. Mary Martha’s ad for a dining room table sets up a hurting soul for healing. And can Penny’s family survive Christmas in a cramped RV?

8. An Old-Fashioned Christmas by: Tracie Peterson, Colleen L. Reece, Loree Lough, and Sally Laity
Take a break from your hectic holiday schedule and curl up with these romantic tales of Christmases gone by. This heartwarming 4-in-1 volume features God Jul by Tracie Peterson, Christmas Flower by Colleen Reece, Miracle of Kismet Hill by Loree Lough, and For the Love of a Child by Sally Laity.

9. A Big Apple Christmas by: Vasthi Reyes Acosta, Gail Sattler, Lynette Sowell, Carrie Turansky
Enjoy a contemporary romance collection of four heartwarming novellas that capture the sights and sounds of Christmas in New York City. Christmas plans are set askew when a schedule-bound professional organizer meets a free-spirited poet. Holiday bustle is the means two tourists try to use to get lost in the crowds. Christmas in Rockerfeller Center puts a widow’s dreams on center stage. The gift of the Magi comes full circle for two lonely Latinos. Romance is in the air from Fifth Avenue to Chinatown, but can faith bring the love home?

10. Wyoming Christmas Heroes by: Jeanie Smith Cash, Linda Lyle, Jeri Odell, Tammy Shuttlesworth
A cup of Christmas, a dash of heroics, a sprinkling of romance, and a heap of faith creates a recipe for holiday magic in four novellas.
Widowed and pregnant, Annie Benson moves to Wyoming just in time to deliver her twins in a snowstorm. What’s the chance that her handsome new neighbor is also a doctor?
A snowmobiling mishap in Yellowstone leaves Chris Jennings trapped in a remote cabin. How can it be considered answered prayer when the park ranger on duty is Paul Rogers,her ex-fiance?
Upon meeting a handsome paramedic,Holly Olson’s matchmaking daughter suddenly becomes accident prone. Will Luke Jolly join the game and charm the stubborn widow?
Stacey Waters will protect her son at all costs, even from Santas with daddy-like potential. Jack Trenton fights fires when not playing Santa, but can he quench the fire of resentment around Stacy’s heart?

I’d also like to invite you to check out my next release, Chesapeake Weddings (a 3-in-1 including John’s Quest, Milk Money, and Bittersweet Memories)! It’s available for pre-order on Amazon.com and Christianbook.com! If you’ve already read John’s Quest, Milk Money, and Bittersweet Memories, I appreciate your support!

~Cecelia Dowdy~

Last Breath By Brandilyn And Amberly Collins

I finished this novel last night and it was an entertaining read. I didn’t think it was as scary as the prequel since there was no dead body in the beginning. But, there were unique aspects of the story that’ll make you keep turning the pages.
1. There’s a sweet love story that takes place in the nineties with Rayne and her boyfriend (Shaley’s dad)
2. Gang warfare is an unusual element that gives this story a suspenseful edge.

When Shaley’s mom is injured, Shaley is beside herself with worry. The paparazzi continue to hound the star and her daughter, and Shaley feels like her life is spinning out of control. All she wants to do is go home and relax, try and return to a life of semi-normalcy. However, she’s in the hospital with her injured superstar-singer mother, Rayne. After an eager photographer causes Rayne’s accident, she’s stunned because she can’t finish her tour and is forced to recuperate in the hospital.

Shaley still wonders about the message whispered in her ear right before the killer in the first book dies…Did her father really send a killer on the Rayne tour? Will her mother now give her details about the father Shaley’s never known?

This book shows that sometimes turmoil happens in our lives, forcing us to think about God and to turn to Him during those difficult moments.

~Cecelia Dowdy~

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old…or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

You never know when I might play a wild card on you!

Today’s Wild Card author is:

and the book:

Last Breath (Rayne Series #2)

Zondervan; 1 edition (October 1, 2009)

***Special thanks to Lindsey Rodarmer of ZONDERKIDZ for sending me a review copy.***

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:


Brandilyn and Amberly Collins are a mother/daughter team from northern California. Brandilyn is a bestselling novelist, known for her trademarked “Seatbelt Suspense”. Amberly is a college student in southern California. She and her mom love attending concerts together.

Visit the author’s website.

Here’s a video about the first book in the Rayne Series:

Product Details:

List Price: $9.99
Reading level: Young Adult
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: Zondervan; 1 edition (October 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0310715407
ISBN-13: 978-0310715405

AND NOW…THE FIRST CHAPTER:

Your father sent me.

The last words of a dying man, whispered in my ear.

Were they true? What did they mean?

Your father sent me. The stunning claim drilled through my head, louder than the crowd’s screams.

Guitars blasted the last chord of Rayne’s hit song, Ever Alone, as Mom’s voice echoed through the Pepsi Center in Denver. The heavy drum beat thumped in my chest. With a final smash of cymbals the rock song ended. Multicolored laser lights swept the stadium, signaling the thirty-minute intermission.

Wild shrieks from thousands of fans rang in my ears.

I rose from my chair backstage. Tiredly, I smiled at the famous Rayne O’Connor as she strode toward me on high red heels. In the lights her sequined top shimmered and her blonde hair shone. She walked with confidence and grace, the picture of a rock star—until she stepped from her fans’ sight. Then her posture slumped, weariness creasing her beautiful face. Mom’s intense blue eyes usually glimmered with the excitement of performing, but now I saw only the wash of grief and exhaustion. How she’d managed to perform tonight, I’d never know. Except that she’s strong. A real fighter.

Me? I had to keep fighting too, even if my legs still trembled and I’d probably have nightmares for weeks.

Your father sent me.

I had to find out what those words meant.

“You’re a very brave young lady,” a Denver detective had told me just a few hours ago. I didn’t feel brave then or now.

“You okay, Shaley?” Mom had to shout over the screams as she hugged me.

I nodded against her shoulder, hanging on tightly until she pulled back.

The crowd’s applause died down. A heavy hum of voices and footsteps filtered from the stadium as thousands of people headed for concessions and bathrooms during the break.

Kim, the band’s keyboard player and alto to my mom’s lead vocals, stopped to lay a darkly tanned hand on my head. A strand of her bleached white-blonde hair was stuck to the gloss on her pink lips. She brushed it away. “You’re an amazing sixteen-year-old.”

I shrugged, embarrassed. “Thanks.”

Mick and Wendell, Mom’s two remaining bodyguards, approached without a word. I gave a self-conscious smile to Wendell, and he nodded back, sadness flicking across his face. His deep-set eyes were clouded, and the long scar across his chin seemed harder, more shiny. At five-eleven, Wendell is short for a bodyguard but every bit as muscled. Tonight his two-inch black hair, usually gelled straight up, stuck out in various directions. He hadn’t bothered to fix it since the life and death chase he was involved in just a few hours ago. Seeing that messed-up hair sent a stab through me. Wendell was usually so finicky about it.

Mick, Mom’s main personal bodyguard, folded his huge arms and stood back, waiting. Mick is in his forties, ex-military and tall, with a thick neck and block-shaped head. I’ve rarely seen emotion on his face, but I saw glimpses of it now. He and Wendell had been good friends with Bruce, Mom’s third bodyguard.

Bruce had been killed hours ago. Shot.

And he’d been trying to guard me.

My vision blurred. I blinked hard and looked at the floor.

“Come on.” Mom nudged my arm. “We’re all meeting in my dressing room.”

Mick and Bruce flanked her as she walked away.

Usually we don’t have to be so careful backstage. It’s a heavily guarded area anyway. But tonight nothing was the same.

Kim and I followed Mom down a long hall to her dressing room. Morrey, Kim’s boyfriend and Rayne’s drummer, caught up with us. He put a tattoo-covered arm around Kim, her head only reaching his shoulders. Morrey looked at me and winked, but I saw no happiness in it.

Ross Blanke, the band’s tour production manager, hustled up alongside us, trailed by Stan, lead guitarist, and Rich, Rayne’s bass player. “Hey.” Ross put a pudgy hand on Mom’s shoulder. “You’re doing great.” He waved an arm, indicating everyone. “All of you, you’re just doing great.”

“You do what you have to,” Stan said grimly. His black face shone with sweat.

Narrowing single file, we trudged into the dressing room. Mick and Wendell took up places on each side of the door.

Marshall, the makeup and hair stylist, started handing out water bottles. In his thirties, Marshall has buggy eyes and curly dark hair. His fingers are long and narrow, deft with his makeup tools. But until two days ago, he’d been second to Mom’s main stylist, Tom.

“Thanks.” I took a bottle from Marshall and tried to smile. Didn’t work. Just looking at him sent pangs of grief through me, because his presence reminded me of Tom’s absence.

Tom, my closest friend on tour, had been murdered two days ago.

Mom, Ross, Rich and I sank down on the blue couch—one of the furniture pieces Mom requested in every dressing room. Denver’s version was extra large, with a high back and overstuffed arms. To our left stood a table with plenty of catered food, but no one was hungry. I’d hardly eaten in the last day and a half and knew I should have something. But no way, not now.

Maybe after the concert.

Stan, Morrey and Kim drew up chairs to form a haphazard circle.

“All right.” Ross sat with his short, fat legs apart, hands on his jeaned thighs. The huge diamond ring on his right hand was skewed to one side. He straightened it with his pinky finger. “I’ve checked outside past the guarded area. The zoo’s double what it usually is. The news has already hit and every reporter and his brother are waiting for us. Some paparazzi are already there, and others have probably hopped planes and will show up by the time we leave.”

Is Cat here? I shuddered at the thought of the slinky, effeminate photographer who’d bothered us so much in the last two days. He’d even pulled a fire alarm in our San Jose hotel the night before just to force us out of our rooms. Now by police order he wasn’t supposed to get within five hundred feet of us. I doubted he’d care.

My eyes burned, and my muscles felt like water. Little food, no sleep, and plenty of shock. Bad combination. I slumped down in the couch and laid my head back.

Ross ran a hand through his scraggly brown hair. “Now at intermission folks out there”—he jabbed a thumb toward the arena—“are gonna start hearing things. Rayne, you might want to say a little something when you get back on stage.”

Mom sighed, as if wondering where she’d find the energy to do the second half of the concert. “Yeah.”

I squeezed her knee. If only the two of us could hide from the world for a week or two.

Make that a whole year.

Rich frowned as he moved his shaved head from one side to the other, stretching his neck muscles. His piercing gray eyes landed on me, and his face softened. I looked away.

Everyone was so caring and concerned about me. I was grateful for that. Really, I was. But it’s a little hard to know you’ve been the cause of three deaths. Under all their smiles, did the band members blame me?

Ross scratched his hanging jowl. “We got extra coverage from Denver police at the hotel tonight. Tomorrow we’re supposed to head out for Albuquerque. It’s close enough for Vance to drive the main bus without a switch-off driver, and the next two venues are close enough as well. But that’s just logistics. We’ve all been through a lot. Question is—can you all keep performing?” He looked around, eyebrows raised.

“Man.” Morrey shook back his shoulder-length black hair. “If three deaths in two days isn’t enough to make us quit …” His full lips pressed.

I glanced hopefully at Mom. Yeah, let’s go home! I could sleep in my own bed, hide from the paparazzi and reporters, hang out with Brittany, my best friend—who was supposed to be here with me right now.

But canceling concerts would mean losing a lot of money. The Rayne tour was supposed to continue another four weeks.

Mom hunched forward, elbows on her knees and one hand to her cheek. Her long red fingernails matched the color of her lips. “I almost lost my daughter tonight.” Her voice was tight. “I don’t care if I never tour again—Shaley’s got to be protected, that’s the number one thing.”

I want you protected too, Mom.

“I agree with that a hundred percent,” Morrey said, “but at least the threat to Shaley is gone now that Jerry’s dead.

Jerry, one of our bus drivers—and a man I’d thought was my friend—killed Tom and Bruce, and then came after me earlier that night. A cop ended up shooting him.

Kim spread her hands. “I don’t know what to say. I’m still reeling. We’ve barely had time to talk about any of this tonight before getting on stage. I feel like my mind’s gonna explode. And Tom …”

She teared up, and that made me cry. Kim had been like a mother to Tom. Crazy, funny Tom. It was just so hard to believe he was gone.

I wiped my eyes and looked at my lap.

“Anyway.” Kim steadied her voice. “It’s so much to deal with. I don’t know how we’re going to keep up this pace for another month.”

Mom looked at Ross. “We can’t keep going very long with only Vance to drive the main bus.”

Ross nodded. “Until Thursday. I’d have to replace him by then.”

“With who?” Mom’s voice edged.

“I don’t know. I’ll have to jump on it.”

“You can’t just ‘jump on it.’ We need time to thoroughly check the new driver out.”

“Rayne.” Ross threw her a look. “I did check Jerry out. Completely. He had a false ID, remember? That’s what the police said. I couldn’t have known that.”

“You might have known if you’d checked harder.”

Ross’s face flushed. “I did—”

“No you didn’t! Or if you did it wasn’t good enough!” Mom pushed to her feet and paced a few steps. “Something’s mighty wrong if we can’t even find out a guy’s a convicted felon!”

What? I stiffened. “How do you know that?”

Mom waved a hand in the air. “The police told me just before we left the hotel.”

We’d huddled in the manager’s office after the policeman killed Jerry.

I stared at Mom. “When was he in jail?”

Mom threw a hard look at Ross. “He’d barely gotten out when we hired him.”

Heat flushed through my veins. I snapped my gaze toward the floor, Jerry’s last words ringing in my head.

Your father sent me.

How could my father have sent Jerry if he was in jail?

“Rayne,” Ross snapped, “I’ve told you I’m sorry a dozen times—”

“Sorry isn’t enough!” Mom whirled on him. “My daughter was taken hostage. She could have been killed!”

Rich jumped up and put his arms around her. “Come on, Rayne, it’s okay now.”

She leaned against him, eyes closed. The anger on her face melted into exhaustion. “It’s not okay.” Mom shook her head. “Tom’s dead, Bruce is dead. And Shaley—”

Her words broke off. Mom pulled away from Rich and hurried back to the couch. She sank down next to me, a hand on my knee. “Shaley, you’re the one who’s been through the most. What do you want to do?”

My throat nearly swelled shut. Go home! I wanted to yell. But I couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair. This wasn’t my tour. I didn’t have to pay the bills.

I glanced around at all the band members. Morrey was holding Kim’s hand. Stan and Rich watched me, waiting. A canceled tour wouldn’t just affect them. Rayne had three back-up singers, one of them Carly, who’d been such a help to me. Plus all the techs and roadies. They’d all lose money.

Wait—maybe Mom would let me go home and stay with Brittany. Now that Tom’s and Bruce’s killer was dead …

“Shaley?” Mom tapped my leg.

“I don’t … I can’t stop the tour.”

Ross exhaled. “Rayne?”

Mom looked at the wall clock and pushed to her feet. “We can’t decide this now. It’s only fifteen minutes before we have to be back on stage. I still need to change.”

Stan stood. “I say we figure on doing Albuquerque, and then we can decide about the rest.”

“Yeah, me too.” Rich got up, along with everyone else. I could see the business-like attitude settle on all their faces, including Mom’s. Soon they had to perform again. Every other concern must be pushed aside. In the entertainment world the saying was true: the show must go on.

Within a minute everyone had left except Mom, Marshall and me. Mom threw herself into a chair by the bright mirrors so Marshall could adjust her makeup. When he left she changed into a steel blue top and skinny-legged black pants.

I sat numbly on the couch, four words running through my mind. Words, I sensed, that would change my life.

Your father sent me.

Mom didn’t know what Jerry had whispered to me as he died. I needed to tell her.

But how? Like me, she was running on empty. It would be one more shock, another scare. I wasn’t sure she could take anymore and still perform.

Had Jerry told me the truth? Had the father I’d never known—the man my mother refused to talk about—purposely sent a killer to join our tour?

I needed to know. I needed to find out. Because if it was true—the danger was far from over.